Archive for the ‘Begin Again’ Category

How to Prepare my “Finance Snapshot,” Before I Apply for a Home Loan, Again

Wednesday, June 2nd, 2010

How do we get ready to apply for a home loan? There is a myth: “No one can tell you how to handle your money.” I  ask that  someone would help guide me through the mine fields and financial pitfalls! My life would  be easier. I’d rather my learning be taught and not caught. I have applied for  home loans to learn some knowledge about getting a loan.

I have applied for three loans and learned:

1. How much we owe and earn is called the Loan to Debt Ratio, which is very important.  Ideally, we would like to owe less than 25% of what you earn each month. You’re over the top, when we owe 43% of what we earn. Above 43% debt, we are a risky borrower and a red flag goes up, when we apply for a home loan.

2. Credit comes from several places. First, the credit bureaus are owned by the Retail Merchants of America. The worse your credit, the more money they make from your paycheck. Poor credit payments equals paying back more debt.  So, we need to know that the credit bureaus want us to do worse than better, then they make more money by charging higher interest rates to you. If we don’t pay or negociate a debt, and it goes to collection, we will pay a seven year higher interest  penalty. That is a long credit prison sentence. Make every effort to avoid collections. We can call the creditor and make arrangements to pay in smaller parts.

3. We need credit cards. Two cards is a maximum.  I know, everyone is saying get rid of them. How we handle them is the important issue. A mortgage lender doesn’t want us to have more than 45% of the max on each credit card. To raise your credit scores, it should be between zero and 25% owing.  Keeping payments there will raise credit scores. Pay your credit cards on time and if you can, pay them through an online account. This saves paper and your payment date is the day you pay them. Paper in the mail takes too long. I ‘ve had late charges, even though I mailed the payments on time.

4.  Where do you live and work right now? The mortgage lenders like us to live in the same place for two years. This proves your rent and shows your payment history. Moving around shows instability. Pay your rent on time every time. Your payment is like a house payment, but for someone else. Job stability requires a minimum of two years on the same job. You are rated  on your gross income. Bonuses count, but they are not part of income ratio. IRAs are important. If your company has one, use it! It is a valuable asset.

5. Start saving money, today. We could put 10% in a savings account every paycheck. If you have a 401K at work and they pay half, that is 50% interest on your money. Sign up, today. You can borrow against 401Ks for a downpayment for a home loan.

6. There is a gifting program, when we are buying a home.  Ask your mortgage lender how to do it. We cannot  ask the seller of a home to pay your downpayment. You cannot borrow the downpayment or use credit cards for it. The down payment can be gifted to us. We could ask your parents or family to gift you the downpayment. Let’s say we are getting married, instead of wedding gifts, we could ask for gifts for your future home you will buy. Set up a money tree or box that people can give at the wedding for your first home. Avoid spending it on the honeymoon, but add to the amount each month to make your downpayment grow. You could skip the honeymoon, $3,000+ and move into a home sooner. Interest rates are low right now.

7. You could ask the seller to pay the closing costs.

8. Paying your monthly bills on time is a reflection of your reliability. It counts for 35% of your credit score. So pay the lights, the garbage, phone, cell phone, cable on time. If you cannot and you are late, that is an indication you need to cut back on your spending and cut some services. I cut my cable, my home phone line, lowered my cell phone payment and car insurance. I even cut my elect bill by washing in cold water, having shorter showers, unplugging appliances that pull power all day long when not in use.

9. Look at your three credit reports. If the credit reported is older than 7 years, ask the reporting company to remove it from your report. Read the report carefully. Your current FICO score is going to be 25% less than it shows for a home loan. It is the way the mortgage companies rate it. It is lower than you see on your score. Your house payment and loan borrowing rate relies on your FICO score. The higher your credit score, the lower your interest on the loan, and the more money you save.

10. A home is your biggest purchase in your life, unless you have a major medical accident. Plan for both. With some care and planning, you’ll have a home of your own.

The loan companies want someone who gets a paycheck. You can get a loan if you are self employed. You must have 2 years Profit and Loss Statements. If you just started a business, you may have to wait to buy a house. However, Proverbs says, Plow your fields and plant your crops, then build your house (while your crops are growing). When harvest comes, your house will be built, you harvest your crops and are ready for the winter.

These habits can make you wealthy. You will pay less in interest, have more buying power, and have more to spend in your pocket, instead of the lenders. You deserve to have a better financial life. Money and Credit management are how much you  make, pay out and how much more you can keep.

When I learn more, I’ll update this post.

Stealing Leads to Poverty in Heart, Soal and Pocketbook by Grandma Kris

Tuesday, May 25th, 2010

I did not write the rules or create this world, but the The LORD God Almighty Creator did. There are rules and consequences that will follow, regardless of who you are, where you were born from the moment you break these written rules. Unseen consequences are like walking in the dark: you fall or skin your knees, fall off cliffs or down wells. The world has built-in consequences for us all.
I knew a girlfriend who used to steal a dollar or two from her Mother’s purse when she was a teenager. She lied about it and blamed her sister. She was known to take money from her sister’s piggy bank. Once it started, it didn’t stop. It was like an addiction. It caused people not to trust others in the house. It caused fights and lying. It caused strife and pain for the innocent ones. They were always in a turmoil and argument. The girlfriend began stealing from her friends and blaming her other friends. She was smooth with her words, but it destroyed those close to her. Sooner than you think, people figure out who is stealing and making excuses. Then, out the door, out of marriage, out of the house, out of friends, she was just out. She fell in with the drinking crowd and they were used to her-well- down, down she went. Stealing robbed years of good relationships, trust and connected friends from her. She could not understand that stealing was the cause of it. I have known her from afar all my life. In her 40’s, she decided to stop drinking and get her life straight. She went to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). She started looking pretty good.
I heard a middle aged man telling his story on television about his youth and being a professional thief. He said it started out profitable and seemed the way to get ahead, but the people who stole were dishonest, so he could not trust them. As much as he tried to get ahead, he always lost. He came to the end of stealing and being a thief when he bought groceries with some of his money. When he went to the cupboard, all that was left was a can of beans. He gave up that life and decided it was very unprofitable. Thieves have no honor among friends.
Have you heard of the “Flying Scroll?” The story can be found in the Bible(KJV) in Zechariah 5:1-4:
“1 Then I turned, and lifted up mine eyes, and looked, and behold a flying roll. 2 And he said unto me, What seest thou? And I answered, I see a flying roll; the length thereof is twenty cubits, and the breadth thereof ten cubits. 3 Then said he unto me, This is the curse that goeth forth over the face of the whole earth: for every one that stealeth shall be cut off as on this side according to it; and every one that sweareth shall be cut off as on that side according to it. 4 I will bring it forth, saith the LORD of hosts, and it shall enter into the house of the thief, and into the house of him that sweareth falsely by my name: and it shall remain in the midst of his house, and shall consume it with the timber thereof and the stones thereof.”

Could you live around liars, thieves, grocery takers, strife, anger, termoil, poverty, heart ache and a feeling of never getting ahead, because you’re always hiding and cannot be yourself? What a mean way of living!
Being honest and paying for what you use and eat and where you live, then you can be happy, work for dignity, be a good neighbor and have a place where you can connect, have friends and share from the abundance with others.
Poverty is caused by lying stealing murder, strife, being dishonorable, turmoil, lack of food, rent and household items. Poverty is a state of mind, not how much money you have in your pocketbook. Riches are not measured only by your bank account, but by the influence in your community, favor, friendships, a place in society, skills and abilities, a good education, and out of these abundances comes a good living. Give and it shall be given unto you pressed down and overflowing. I like walking in the abundance of life. You can too.
“Behold I set before you this day a blessing and a curse; A blessing, if ye obey the commandments of the LORD, your God, which I command you this day: And a curse, if ye will not obey the commandments of the LORD your God, but turn aside out of the way, which I command you this day, to go after other gods, which he have not known.” Deuteronomy 11:26-27
It is a simple decision: choose life or death. You can choose life!

If someone has not told you this recently or ever in your life, “I believe in you. I know you have good in you. I know you can do it. I give you permission to stretch yourself, pass your fears, and climb your visions and dreams, while having many friendships along the way. So, get busy living, choose life, instead of dying!”
Your:
Grandma Kris
May 25, 2010

Honoring my Mother and Grandmother on Mother’s Day 2010

Sunday, May 9th, 2010

Mothers are not perfect, but their love for us makes them the best Mom in the world. She taught, loved, waited, hurried, pick up things, washed them, taxied us, planned for us, counseled, mended our pants tares, wiped our tears, bandaged our knee, washed the soft rug in the bathroom, had clean towels, watched us play, planted a garden with vegetables, and cooked dinner, and read bedtime stories.

No, my Mom was not perfect and neither was Grandma, but they gave me so much and loved me, too.
My Mom has done things that caused a chasm between us. What turned me around? I went to consoling. The Pastor pointed out that the Ten Commandments are there as a short list to guide me in my life. The first four commandments are about how we react and honor, love and relate to the LORD God Almighty. The next one is: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.”

I want to love a long life. That is a nice promise. So, I decided to forgive my Mother her faults and look on the good that she taught me over the years. I really enjoy her memories, today, and all the simple and uncountable tasks I learned at her side. I was fortunate to have such a good person for a Mom.

Some of you never met your Mom or had a Mom, well if you are a girl, you’ll be a Mom someday. The LORD God Almighty gave us the Bible to lead us as a manual of how to live. You can change your history in your lifetime. Trust in the LORD and serve Him. He will be your family and lead you through your life. There are plenty of older women at church whose children are far away. Take one of them to church with you and have dinner with them. Both of you need one another.

Love is more powerful than hate. Love wins friends and brings joy. Love makes room for you and me together. Love is truth and honest sharing. Love is a joy for me and you. We are connected as neighbors and family. God first loved us by creating this world and us in it. He wanted to know we loved Him. He loved us first and gave us parents to show us love. Then we can love our parents and love the LORD God Almighty, too, for HE is good.

So, if you are alone, today, call someone: a neighbor, an older woman, and an aunt. Talk to them and tell them what you appreciate about them, today. Then, have dinner with them and share time at church. You’ll both feel better.

Happy Mother’s Day
Grandma Kris

The Value of A Woman

Saturday, May 8th, 2010

The value of a woman is equal to men, because God made her by taking a rib from man and building a woman with his hands. So, man and woman can walk side by side and live together. A woman represents approximately 1/2 of the human population on the earth. “She is at least as good as a man.” said Peter J. Daniels from Australia.

She is a person first. She could be a wife, a mother, a Grandmother or a great Grandmother. A woman is someone’s daughter, and a member of her family or tribe.  Without her, a man would have no heirs. A woman is the keeper of her future family generations. Her health and stability is a very important element and the foundation of the family. She keeps herself for her husband, so disease and problems will not plague her herself, her family or her children. The future generation of a man’s family name depends on a lineage of sons and daughters.  She is the child bearer of children, our future generations.  That is why men should treat all women of any age as if they are someone’s future wife and respect them privately and publicly.

She is the Mother of her children, and watches over her sibling’s children and her neighbor’s children. She is part of a community that brings safety and nurturing to her family and neighbors. Her community or tribe benefits from her contributions. She is the teacher and example of faith and love to her family and neighbors.

A woman’s life is her faith, husband, children, neighbors and community and her country. She binds & amplifies society. She holds the social fabric of living. She builds a world for her family with her husband and their families.

 In Jan, 2009 a new baby called Moses was born, and hours later his Mother dies from a rare ambolism. His Father needed breast milk for baby Moses,  which cost $5 an ounce. Some mothers the family knew agreed to give the baby their mother’s milk. More people heard about it and there are 20 women who donate milk for the child. The Father was shocked by the loss of his wife and the need to share his life with others to feed his newborn son. Moses is doing well, today. He has  a strong community around him to care for him and he is a year old.

In the land near Israel in 2003, women concerned for the food supplies of their families in a war-torn area,  asked for donations from charities to give them olive trees to plant, so they could have their own food. All the women in the neighborboods worked together to plant, and water the trees.

In early 1915 in America had a leaf blite that killed all the chestnut trees in the Northwest forests. In 2007, a group of women bought chestnuts and asked their friends and neighbors to carry them, wherever they go, and plant them back into the forests and road sides.  Working together builds our communities and helps us provide for our familes and future families.

Women are storytellers of the family. They take photos, scrapbook, remember to send birthday cards, anniversary and Christmas Cards. They keep letters and treasures of the children. My Mother treasured clippings that I didn’t remember from when I was born and through my years with her. She tells us of her youth and how her parents raised her.Their family history is a treasure to them.

As a woman, you can live up to our expectations and visions or diminish down to the criticism of others. You can choose! So, keep looking up with optimism and hope while building your life and future of your family, for each day is new and rises with the light of day.

Lost Boys at Home by Grandma Kris

Saturday, April 17th, 2010

Having all you Men overseas is hard on the little boys growing up at home, whose Dads, Uncles and Grandpas are away.
The suicide rate in teen children is highest in boys ages 11-18 years old.
#1 death is Driving with others in a car with alcohol
#2 Suicide of boys 11-18 years old
#3 Overdose of drugs by experimentation
Statistics from Focus on the Family. org.

When boys go to school, Women teach.
When they go to counseling, Women teach.
When they go to their parents, the Mom’s teach.
Boys are in trouble with all that women talk!
Young men need men to take them fishing, teach them to work on thier bikes, fix their cars and love them.
A man has the greatest influence in a family by 75% of the structure and influence, stated by Dr. James Dobson.

I was a single Mom for many years. I decided that when my son and daughter were in their teens, they would challenge my authority and beliefs. As a Christian, I told them that they thought I was teaching them something wrong, they could show me in the Bible, and I would change. If they could not, then, the rules stood firm. It caused my children to go to the Bible and search for answers to derail me. My children used God’s authority over mine. They learned. We discussed it. God was first. I was second. They were third. We lived in line of authority and it kept peace in the house.

Remember the lost little boys, when you come home.
You can help each other get well, until you can take your places again.

Oh, by the way, women will gladly relinquish their total responsibility when men step in and help leadership, again.

So:
God be with you while you are far away.
Tell America’s sons we cry when you’re away.
Stand up and be strong,
We’re waiting while your gone.
We are willing and wanting to say,
Welcome home again.

The Value of a Man

Friday, April 16th, 2010

Written by my friends- Copyright Michaels Media
A man is just as good as a woman, for God made him first, then took a rib from his side and made a woman. So, they could walk side by side and let God be in charge of running the universe.
A man is a father in the family, our friends, companions and our soul mate. His name gives us a line of heirs.
A man is stronger than a woman. He is leaner and has more muscle mass. He takes in more oxygen and can work longer and harder. He enjoys hunting, fishing, and conquering. So he goes out to find and kill food, work and protect his family.

Men have many talents and abilities that makes him the right one to go and work long hours and team build with others. He loves a challenge and enjoys tackling big projects. He goes to war, and has a different frame of mind that allows him to deal with combat. He is a team builder, plays sports and likes to get out and fish and hunt. He works with other men and makes and creates buildings, ships and works to better his community and protect his country.

My friend, Bob, said, “A man should be kind. He should keep his word. If he says he will do it, he shall get it done. A man builds a fence around his children to protect them. If they get out of the boundaries, he pulls them back in. When the children show they can be trusted and keep the boundaries I give them, I widen the fence of things they can do. I know I can trust them and they can trust me. Having faith in God gives a man the boundaries to be a good man, because God is good.”

Jim likes to help others with their computer problems. He finds gratification in solving a problem. He loves to win at cards and he likes to help others win at cards. He wants to be useful and his kindness added makes a good friend.

A man with goodness, truth, kindness, generosity, planning, and faith has characteristics greater than himself. He can rule over his appetites and build up strengths rather than lust after vices that can destroy his health, his ability to bear children or kill him. He is a warrior in his youth. When he marries, he can settle into living for something greater than himself, because children are his legacy. He can fashion his sons and daughters to be his heirs, and they care for him in his old age, taking over the business that he has built to care for his family.

Freedom costs less than recklessness. A man must approach his life to self-governing actions. If he refuses, there is the police and Welfare system and government laws to make him pay or put him behind bars. Self-responsibility is the free man’s discipline to live with the least government interference. Young and older men who do not have children are free from the Welfare system and their financial grip on men’s money. If you have a child out of marriage you are genetically bonded with the child and woman the rest of your life. The Dept of Health and Human Services can go to court and demand your paycheck for the next 18-25 years.

One night of casual sex financial costs: Let’s add that up: $700 a month for one child care x 12 mo=1 year costs of $ 8,400 x 18 years= $151,200 for a one night of casual sex. Are you looking forward to paying that bill? That is the most expensive night date you ever bought besides a house or a business. You are in charge of your future- so -slow down today- and you don’t have to pay for 18 years! Your best option is kiss her goodnight and go home. If you find a woman who will marry you and you have a child out of marriage to support, the Government will continue to take your money, and it will hurt your family financial chances to support your future family. Remember, it was your recklessness choice that caused the child problem. It was your choice to pay $151,200 for a one night stand. Are you keeping your wallet closed and protected?

A man is valuable because he will work and build a family and this creates a community, a state and a nation. His family he raises is the future generations of our nation. I wrote another article called Lost Boys by Grandma Kris. Take care of your sons. Protect and cherish your daughters. Love your wife and God. Live a long and healthy life.

Men like to work with other men. They love to learn, build, explore and create the community, the home and the country. Spring is here. After they’ve worked hard all week, they head to the country. It’s past tax day. Let’s plan on fishing this spring and hunting this fall!

Stand Down Resources List in Clark County WA

Tuesday, March 30th, 2010

We welcome the men and women who have served America in the military services. I posted these websites in one place to save you time when you arrive home from your last base. Welcome home to Clark County, WA.
copyright by Michaels Media. March 1, 2010. All rights reserved.

You can send the men a thank you.
Thank you

Dept. of Veterans Affairs

Department of Veterans Affairs of Washington

Public Veterans Events

Veterans Relief Fund of Clark Co WA

Return Service Members OEF OIF

US Military Veterans-Disabled Veterans

VA Watchdog Larry Scott Keeping an eye on the VA

Education VA Bill Feb 26, 2010:
New GI Bill Feb 26 2010

WA Go 2 Work Source Official Employment Office
Veterans Orientation 3rd Friday of each Month
We always ask:
“Have you ever served in the military?”

1 Priority of service in employment and training programs, (some restrictions apply.)
2 serve 24,000+ helped find jobs and improve skills in WA.

“Are you the spouse of a veteran?”
1 Veteran of marriage died in military or disability
2 Veteran reported missing, MIA, POW, or force ably detained by foreign government or power more than 90 days.
3 Veteran has total disability from service-connected, or died while disability being evaluated.
(This information may be dated. Contact WorkSource

Clark CO. PUD Apprenticeships

Masters in Business Administration (MBA) Veterans

Politics:
Steve Sanson-Veterans in Politics International

Wordpress bloggers for Veterans:

Clark County, WA Resources for Veterans Blog
The Soulful Veteran Blog

Veteran Supporter Blog

Veterans Claims

Veterans Affairs Medical Center of Vancouver, WA

Portland VA Medical Hospital

WSU Vancouver Students Affairs

Clark County Resources for Veterans

SW Washington Veterans Business Resource Center

Clark County Services:
Veterans County Community Services Clark County

Home Preservation And Energy Assistance

Veterans Resource Committee Clark County

Veterans Family Funds

WA Veteran owned Business Directory

American Merchant Marine Veterans

Homeless Vets Get House Vouchers

Koreans Veterans Memorial Fund

Vietnam Veterans of America

Vietnam Veterans-Washington State Council of Vietnam Veterans of America

Vietnam Veterans

Harley H. Hall American Legion Riders

Vietnam Vets-Service Reps

Women’s Veterans Program Advisory Board

National Veterans Foundation

Veterans Families United

Support Your Vet

Veterans Supporting Veterans

Veteran Love & Appreciation Fund

Social Organizations:
Fraternal Order of Eagles Vancouver WA

2009 Community Resources for Clark County WA

The Political Graveyard WA

When our men and women come home from the service, there are websites to help us at home help them settle into our lives.
Support our Troops

Events: Sept 21, 2009 Veterans Stand Down Day began at 7 a.m. at Pearson Field. Th Stand Down for 2010 is an opportunity to help your Sons and Daughters, our Veterans. It was noted that the event was scheduled for September 21, beginning at 7 a.m., at Pearson Field in Vancouver, WA. Veterans and Homeless Veterans were helps my many companies and volunteers for Stand Down.
Richard Axtel Richard is the chairman for Veterans Stand Down for 2009.

Plans are being done for the Veterans Stand Down 2010 is to be announced. Volunteers will be needed.
Homeless Vets need our care, too.
If you know a homeless vet, have them call this number in Clark County. 360-859-3631


Movie “Fireproof”

Movie: “Faith Like Potatoes”

Movie: “The Note”

Movie: “Facing the Giants”

Play an Honest Game of Solitaire by Grandma Kris

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

Solitaire is a one deck 52 cards game. I can play anytime, when I need to change my mind or get a fresh idea.
My Mother used to play, and I would watch and help her. I enjoyed it.
I never cheat. When I deal and play, I have a genuine match between the deck and my wits. Cheating deprives me of the opportunity of winning. Cheaters live in a gray area of never developing a skill, never learning small skills that help them win, never finding what moves are most adventurous, never finding the ideas and moves to make them a sharper wit. Cheaters are deprived of being good at solitaire. The one person we must live with is ourselves. I like to keep it an honest relationship.
Winning gives you courage to endeavor to do things well. It teaches you patience. It sharpens your mind and makes you determined.

My son sits down and watches me play. He learns that I never cheat. That passes character on to the observer. He knows I can be trusted. He likes to play, because the rules are the same and I play the cards with honesty and skill. He is there to learn.

Honest solitaire has taught me patience, skills, small steps to win more often, thinking and wits, and a pleasure of honest winning.
I love a good challenge!
It takes skill, patience and practice to win at solitaire.

“Put Your Little Hand in Mine” said D. L. Moody

Thursday, March 25th, 2010

An Orphan boy lived in Chicago, Illinois. He lived on the streets. He heard that Dwight L. Moody was going to be speaking across town that evening. He started out. He grabbed an apple to eat on the way. He walked through the streets, avoided the gutters, and finally as the sun was going down, he arrived at the church. The lights were on, and it looked welcoming and warm inside.

He walked up the big steps and a tall man said, “Where are you going?”
The boy said, “I’ve come to hear D.L. Moody. I have walked all the way across town to get here.”
The tall man said, ” You’re not going inside. You are too dirty and smelly.” He pushed the little boy off the porch.

Determined, the little boy walked around the church seeking a way in. The windows were too far off the ground and the other door was locked. He circled the building. He could not get in.

So, he sat down on the front steps and began to cry. A carriage pulled up. A man in a tall beaver hat and dark coat stepped out and walked up the stairs. He asked the little boy, “What is the matter?”

The boy said, “I’ve walked all the way across town to hear D.L.Moody. The tall man said I was too dirty!”
The man in the beaver hat extended his big hand to the boy and said, ” Put your little hand in mine.” The doors of the Church flew open as the little boy and D.L. Moody walked to the front of the church. He sat the boy in the front row, took off his coat and stepped to the podium to speak.

All of us come to Jesus, dirty, yet when we call on his Name, the doors of Heaven are thrown open for us to enter to live with Him.

This story was told to me.

The Sexual Revolution Ended in America on March 21, 2010 by Grandma Kris

Sunday, March 21st, 2010

I declare March 21, 2010 that on this day is the end of the Sexual Revolution in America. Sexual freedom did not work. We are losing our health, our children s’ health, and our future generations health. Plus, the personal destruction of ourselves to be able to connect with others and bond in marriage and community makes us vulnerable to other countries coming in and taking over our broken lives.

Personally, we are each acting out our lives. When our personal actions are destructive, cause death, give us diseases and ruin our hope of healthy children in our future marriage, then it makes sense to stop outside sexual relationships before we marry. It is better to stop our risk of diseases that can kill us before we get them. I am in charge of my life. I can say no. I can wait until I am married, whether I am a man or a woman. Men, more than women, want an heir for his line of inheritance. Women want to have healthy children and a rich family life.

Men thought they could cheat the safe sex idea by going after younger and younger women and children. Sexual abuse cases are so common that the idea is global in all cultures. We are heading toward the devastation that Africa has endured of losing their parents to AIDS. These children represent future generations 10-20-30-40-50 years that are being infected with herpes, HIV, Sexual Transmitted Diseases (STD’s) and other illnesses unknown. Science did not know about AIDS until the mid 1980’s. Hidden STD diseases may not be apparent or show ill effects until ten-twenty years from today. Mature men and women are destroying future generations of childrens’ health by their selfish, sexual indulgence, addictions of today.

Your abstinence decision is not affected by the government, our parents, our neighbors, or our friends. It is your decision. There are additional benefits of abstaining. We calm down. Our chaos goes away. We can began growing as a singular person and develop our own personality. We learn to develop boundaries and grow in the community, where we feel safer from our emotional termoil. We can focus on things outside ourselves. We view our careers with greater zeal. and strive for healthier relationships with people who would make a good marriage partner. We become closer in our community.

We must endure and strive to protect and preserve ourselves with healthy bodies to bear our future children to be born, our future pristine generations building stronger generations born from our marriages. We must preserve our own health, so we can avoid cancer, incurable illnesses and destruction own of our lives. It is mine: my life and my future, my children, my grandchildren and my generations to come. I must take a stand and say, “I will wait until I am married to have sex to avoid STD diseases in my self and my children and my person body of myself and my mate. I want a healthy future. I want a long life. I want to have healthy children and have a long life with many generations who have the same gift that I can give them, by being protected and clean and free from disease. I can do this by practicing abstinence until I am married.”

The ultimate end of no personal sexual restraint is sexual addiction. There is an effect even more devastating. You cannot bond with others. You lose trust, love, your friends and cannot bond with other people socially and emotionally. This is the most destructive of all the pain we can inflict upon ourselves. Violence and rape are the next step. Women fight, men kill. It is destruction of all relationships by ourselves. Lawlessness leads to dictatorship. Jail and prison loom in this future. Society will restrain you.

Dr. McIlhaney and Dr McKissic show that we have sticky brains, that bond to one another chemically. If we have other partners outside of marriage, we become addictive to the act of bonding and having many relationships. So, our natural bonding, sticky brains designed for one partner turn into addictive brains desiring many and never bonding to one partner. We are sexually “Hooked.”

“Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children” (Hardcover)
written by M.D. Joe S. McIlhaney Jr (Author), M.D. Freda McKissic Bush (Author) 2009.

The authors state we lose our ability to bond and stick to one another the more sex we have before marriage. We literally destroy our ability to stick to one another and cannot bond and remain in a relationship.

Casual sexual relations leads to depression. Yet, we want to bond, but sexual activity outside marriage works like an addiction to sex. Thus, it is called hooking up. We are not satisfied with the current relationship. We persue the next new fix.

The authors drew diagrams and maps of our brains and how we respond to sexual interaction. Our sexual responses trigger hormone responses. We are “Hooked” in an addictive, internal chemical pattern. So, like the alcoholic and the drug addict, we are sexually, hormonally, chemically addicted state in our own brains.

Our long-term lives would greatly benefit with personal, sexual restraint until we are married. So, we can stick and bond with one person that we love. We would have a long marriage and many children who would have parents. You decide to step back, abstain and regain our lives for your future of health, family and long life of health.